Ugh

My foot doctor is evil. A simple task of taking my mother to the foot doctor, I ended up with a painful toe. I can't take my mom to any doctors anymore, this is the second time. So she wants to see what it would look like with her toe without a nail. So I quickly volunteer by kicking off my shoes and showing her. Normally when he removes the nail he deadens the nailbed so the nail wont grow back, but part of my nail apparently did. She questions it, he sees it, "Hmm, it did grow back. I'll fix that today". I'm thinking no problem, he'll get the clippers or that little drill thing to file it down or something. Instead, he grabs two needles and rolls over to me. Oh lawd I know what this means! He jabs my toe to start the numbing process, he's grinning, mom's laughing....but not for long. Her turn was next. I only had one toe, she had three....AND the bone spur on top of her foot. Needless to say she laughed a very short time. But then, payback was on me. I thought it would be cool to watch him do her feet. I've never been weak at the sight of blood, but after seeing him do one toe and thing "interesting", I didnt feel so very well. I just sort of laid back while he did his thing. As long as I didnt feel anything.

So today is the day after, and I'm almost in tears for every step I take. I talked to her, and she isnt even hurting grrrrr. I guess I can fart around at work for a few days. what fun that will be :-\

Terri Schiavo is dead

Finally, now may she be at peace. I'm not watching the news until next week tho....

Read here
and here

Time to get healthy

Today me and my brother went and played raquetball. First time we hit the court together in a few years. I thought I was gonna die on the court, but now that I've come home and cooled off, I feel great! Over the weekend I was thinking alot about my health, how I look, how I feel. And I realized, how I said the beginning of the year I was gonna get my ass in gear, it's almost April! It was a most beautiful day out today, and it was a perfect day for it. According to fitlinxx I burned over 1000 calories, not bad for a first outing. I"m gonna make a committment to doing this daily. Year after year I talk about how nice I wanna look, and yet another year goes by. By this summer, or at least my birthday, I plan to at least be two sizes smaller, at the VERY least. If I stick to it and stay strong, I may be able to do better. I'm gonna commit to it.

I'm also gonna quit smoking. This is gonna be hard, but I have a few things I'm gonna try to help me out, including trying some mint smoking gum. I just realized I could save $100 a month if I quit. Geesus, I could pay another bill with that!

The added benefit to all this is I could save even more money. It could help my diabetes and high blood pressure, and in doing that, I wont have to pay for all the meds I have to take. This is gonna be great, I feel like doing some situps right now!!

Enough of this bullshit!!!

first someone wants Michael Schiavo dead, now the parents are in a last ditch effort, now claiming Terri has tried to talk and supposedly expressed a desire to live.

I'll just say this because the straw just broke. I dont care if Michael Schiavo has moved on with his life. I dont care if the parents want to hold on to her for 13 more years. I dont care if she simply wakes up one day and starts a conversation with the wall and does a dance. I've seen enough and I simply dont give a shit anymore. I think it's a damn shame that this situation has turned into a media circus that it has become. My fucking goodness, people are camping out at the governor's mansion!! i'm sorry, but my tax dollars to the governor can much better spent doing something else..... you got fucking child molesters stealing and killing children, drunk drivers not knowing when to say when. Perhaps I havent followed this from the beginning, but at what point did this become so important that it has to be on the front page of the newspapers every single day and the top news story on the evening news!??!? I'm at the point of where i'm fucking sick of hearing about it day in and day out. This should be a PRIVATE family matter. You have parents letting their kids get arrested because of protests! If you gonna pull the tube, then let her go to the other side IN PEACE AND IN PRIVATE. If you gonna keep reinserting the damn tube, DO IT IN PRIVATE. The whole damn nation does not need to be a part of this, I think she has suffered enough as it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want to sound like a heartless SOB, but in a way I wish she would just die already. I mean, damn. Who would want to live like that? This has caused for some interesting conversation at home, I've told my mother and brothers, if the doctors tell you there's nothing left, no possible hope left, then they are to have their 5 minutes to say goodbye and to just let me go. No way in hell I could live like that. I'm sure Michael, being married to her and loved her, would know that she wouldnt want to live like this. I'M SICK OF SEEING THIS SHIT EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhh

dammit blogger, get your act together, know how many times i tried submitting this damn post, or the things i went thru at home thinking my computer was the problem????

It's been a while since I've graced my own blog, just been busy at work, and sleeping. I hate where I work, I really do. If I wasnt the responsible adult that I am, I would have quit a long time ago. For the work I have to do, I am WAY underpaid. I'm still working on a change tho, not as easy as I would like, but I'm working on it.

So I remember having a conversation with someone, how some people pay out so much in taxes thru the year, and only get a fraction of it back, but then there are some that barely work and bring home like $5k on tax time. It's a bitch. Well, how is it that people get these huge checks, and are more concerned with buying cell phones (nevermind the one you already have, instead of paying that damn bill, you just rather fuck it up and just get new service elsewhere...to fuck it up later), digital cameras, big screens, etc, but not pay the rent or the bills? Looks really stupid when you are getting evicted a month after tax refund......(and lets take into consideration that it usually takes 30 days to process an eviction thru the courts, and most places wait at least a month or so before even going to the courts, you add it up). Yea I got a two bedroom, but i'm not taking roomates. OHHH don't get me started on that soapbox.....

Oh well, I guess I'll try to get some sleep and say a prayer before some other drama pops off

Best Ebay thread ever

Sometimes it does not pay when you cheat hahaha. Girl's got some huge ones I'll tell ya that. I wonder how she came to the conclusion he was cheating. What's even worse, what if he wasn't cheating and she is wrong about the whole thing?!?

As you can see I've been up to nothing special hehe.

Toodles until next time..

Ebay is still out of control....

It's bad enough someone would list something like this, but to actually have somone bid on an autographed bible signed by Jesus Himself is sad and funny at the same time.

::shakes head::

This isn't funny anymore......

Now after I went thru a week of moaning and asses in the air, this cat is walking around the house with the moaning again. She isnt doing a "face down ass up" like she was, but the meowing has started again. I dont know if it's the new place I'm in or what. When I scream at her to STFU she will just sort of start rolling around on the floor and purring loudly. She CANT be in heat again??!?!?!? Edit: Oh GEESUS I think she is, and the ass thing. This can't be right??

There's no place like home...

Finally got all moved in. I got boxes all over the house, but my computers are up and running lol. I'm still exhausted, and I'm normally off tonite, but I traded to have off Saturday. I should have not REMINDED my supervisor or I'd be sleep tonite. But I gotta make that money to pay da bills. There's a few job fairs this week that I want to check out. Everything I've wanted to happen so far has been going my way, so I'm happy for that. My new place I like it alot. I have more space. If I picked off all the BeBe kids that run up and down this street then it would be peaceful. As long as they dont be in my yard or mess with my car I'm at peace. I thought being so close to a railroad track would be an issue, but I have yet to even hear a train. If it's that bad I'm sure there would be a story on it.

Toodles...

Moving sux

Dammit, now I remember why I hate moving. The packing, walking up and down the stairs taking shit to the car. I'm exhausted. Well I was, I slept all day basically so I'm pretty rested up. Tomorrow morning I'm supposed to be moving the big stuff, the couch, bed, etc with some help. Which means I'll be without internet cause roadrunner wont be able to come out to the new spot until Monday. I don't know how I will manage to be without internet for that long. I should be busy getting the new place in order so I guess it wont be that bad. I'm just happy to get out of here and away from this dickhead of a landlord.

Moving on...

Things have been so-so lately until today. Not expecting it, but very glad it happened, I got an apartment today. Got my keys and everything. It's still in the ghetto, but I stay in my house when I'm home anyway so I'm not worried (might want to get a club for my car tho). It's a huge 2 bedroom and I even have washer/dryer hookups, which I'm elated about. I guess due to the fact that I rented with this guy like 10 years ago made it work. In any case, I'm blessed and very happy for the change of scenery. On the down side, I'll be packing and moving every chance I get for the rest of the week. If I get like my sofas and bed moved by Friday then that would be good. I cant wait to get away from this jackass of a landlord, man I just cant wait.

There's still hot pussy in the house, but she's calmed down the last day or so. I guess she realizes she's gonna be a virgin lol.

Pussy still on fire

This is by far the wierdest thing I think I've ever experienced in my life. I've kinda always known when animals are in heat, when a pack of like 20 males are following one lonely female. I just didnt know when they meow like that they are longing for some sex. Well, little did I know I was sort of making it worse. So anytime I get ready for bed, she has to jump on the covers so I can pet her and play fight with her for a few minutes and all. Scratching her stomach usually gets her biting me. Well.....this time she's in heaven, just stretching out and loving it. She wont keep still for nothing, just rolling and stuff like she is uncomfortable or something. Well, then, so I'm petting her like normal, rubbing her back, and then she gets down on her front legs, but her back legs are stretched and her ass is in the air. WTF!??!?!?! Does she think I'm a tom or something????? So by this point I"m sitting up in bed, looking at her, she looking at me, meow MEEOOOOOOOOOOWW, and she gets up and turns around, her butt hits my hand, and like OMGWTFBBQ a fucking WET SPOT!! At this point I'm out the bed with the lights on. Only then I realized what I've done, I've been basically committing foreplay on my poor cat, she wants some ass like nobody's business. I'm not petting her for a month, or until I get her fixed.

Take my advice, don't pet your cat when she's in heat.

Hot burning Pussy

Good Lawd have mercy on me. My cat is apparently in heat. She's been "moaning" for two days now and it's driving me out of my fucking mind. I'm trying to rest and get over this bronchitis, and then dealing with her. I know yesterday when I opened the door she darted out there and she's never done that. I'll be damned if she gets with one of these nasty strays I see hanging around here. She keep this up and I'm gonna cool her off....

Good days

It seems I've had some better luck over the last couple of weeks. I finally got my car, so that means everyday I'm taking care of something. I'm doing my normal ritual after getting a car by going and getting this and that fixed/checked. I'll get the window lift motor put in in a couple of days for my front window, and i'll get a brake inspection. Car runs beautifully, no problems. I'm truly blessed. I thought I'd have to pay full price for a brand new plate, but I was able to pay for a duplicate plate, so I saved about $100 there. Saved another $100 for getting the window fixed too. I'm happy right now. Still havent done everything on my list, but I'm still happy, and very blessed (and thankful).

Now if I could just get over this very nasty chest cold I have, I cant breathe sometimes and it's almosy unbearable at times.

Getting better

After having to walk to work and catch the bus everywhere, I finally got me some wheels. I feel like I got my first car. I got off work this morning and drove around for almost an hour in pouring rain, couldnt decide if I should get the oil change or not. Didnt feel like going all across town to do it. Jiffy Lube rapes you just to drain some damn oil. I'm tired, I honestly sometimes feel like they are trying to kill me at work. We get the blame for other non-responsible people and that's bullshit IMO. If things keep going good, then I won't have much more to worry about real soon. I'm tired, I'm gonna take another nap.

Starting off slow...

In my quest on getting this thing started, I've been cleaning today. My computer desk looks like a desk, I can actually see the surface now. I can see the books in the bookshelf too. While I was taking a break, I pondered a possible problem in the future. I've always been the type of person that liked to set goals. Setting and accomplishing goals made me feel like I was getting things done in life. Over the last couple of years it seems not much has worked in my favor. Anything I set out for never really worked out in the end. So now I realized that I'm a little afraid of setting goals. Hmmm, I may need some help on this, a game plan if you will.

This very well may be an interesting year....

Starting a new chapter

I intended to post a closing chapter yesterday, but for no good reason at all I just didnt. In any case, I reflect on what I've been thru in 2004. All I can say it was a long year of struggling. I kept the same job, the same shitty apartment, and the same car that finally went to heaven. I can't complain really, but there was/is alot of times when it really seems like I bottom out and I have to ask "why do i still try to deal with this shit?" Back in the day when I was struggling with things in my head, I'd get in the car and end up on the beach. It was something about being on that open water with the seabreeze that just seemed to put me at peace. I think I will start doing that again when I get back on the road. I've made a few friends in 2004, I became closer to a few of them, I lost a few friends or simply created a distance with some of them that I question if they are truly still my friends. As far as family, well, there's only one person who flows the same blood that I can say is there for me. Even tho this person is doing their best to keep going, they still do for me. For that, i'm eternally grateful and I wish there were words or someting I could do to show my gratitude. I pray I'll have that opportunity. Love you.

With the struggle I've gone thru, at the same time of wondering, I learned a few things on being stronger. I've learned a little about compromise. I've learned little on patience, that still needs work. I've also learned how to trust in faith. It's bleak alot of times, but it helps. I've picked up old habits too. Not really bad ones. I always could be found reading a book. Not so much as computer books (those will always be on the bookshelf), but different things. It's just a way to keep me at ease and not really worry about if things will be better next week.

One thing I plan to do before going back to work this week is "cleaning all the slates". I spend alot of time in front of my computer, and pretty much neglect the rest of the house. I look around and think "i need to clean up" but get instantly tired at the thought. I have many things that I dont need or dont use. Yesterday I filled two large garbage bags full of clothes and dropped them off to the salvation army. My mom suggested that I take them to metropolitan ministries, since they give the clothes to those that need them instead of selling them for profit like the salvation army does. I'll do that next time. (once i clean i hope to move, to make the slate even cleaner). I have a love/hate relationship when it comes to my job, so I've chosen an attitude that I'll love the job for the 8 hours that i'm working, and just dont dwell on it afterwards.

And one more thing....over the years my family has pretty much drifted apart. Everybody sort of does their own thing, but we never really do things 'together' like we used to. For christmas we all weren't together. New years it was always a given that the entire family (included extended) would be together to bring in the new year. I miss those times. This would probably be the hardest thing to do, but I'm gonna see if I can make it happen.

Now I have to turn in to get started on new things, such as getting back to church, which I plan to be at in the morning, so with that, I say goodnite.

They call me Big Toe.....

Tomorrow makes a week post-op. It still hurts a little and I still walk like an old lady. Those assholes at work dont seem to understand "light duty" and I seemed to go thru more pain lastnite than I did all week. I got one for them tho. I got over a week of sick time waiting to be abused....

Stuffs

Bah. So my hard drive is nothing more than a shiny paperweight. I tried everything that I could think of doing at this point. It was fdisk'd but would not format no matter what I try. I slaved it on my other system, windows would see it, wouldnt format. It's just screwed. The only real thing I lost was my email, some stuff in my documents and a few music files. Before it really shitted I was able to grab a few things. Thankfully I had a slave drive that had all the goodies on it, but what pisses me off is that the drive was less than a year old, and the place I bought it from mysteriously folded a few months ago (been good business for years). In any case I thought I'd find a 40 gigger or so, the problem is that I tried to do this on Christmas Eve. Every place I went to was packed like the world was ending. I just gave up and decided to use my slave as primary, and now I'm back in business. I guess a new hard drive will be on the tax refund shopping list. And oh yea, Maxtor drives suck. (this isnt the first maxtor I've owned that had just up and died on me, you would think that I would have learned). Life goes on.

This just sucks major ass

I can't believe this. My hard drive just took a shit, a MAJOR shit. Just somehow the disk is damaged, I can't even format the bitch. And I bought this thing less than a year ago from a company that mysteriously closed its doors a few months ago. I cant even do an RMA on it. I'm fucked twice, and I have to go and buy a damn hard drive. I have to rob a bitch just to do that, working at wallyworld doesnt really give me room to buy shit when it breaks, so actually i'm fucked three times. I could use the slave drive, but shit, I have about 40gigs of shit that hasnt been backed up or nothing on that drive.

THIS JUST FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!