this might be goodbye

just in case those that care, this might be the last time you see/hear from me for a while...if at all. nothin can describe what i am experiencing, it is way too much for me to bear. my heart is weak, my soul is leaving and my mind is lost. I cant stand to take any more punishment I have gone thru in recent memory, its just not fair. i've done all i can to do right, live right and have hope. i dont know if its bad luck or some curse, it's just not fair. To those that have been friends to me, bless you all.

oh HELL nah!!!!

So my brother and his lady are still here. Things are worked out and they plan to be out in a few days. Well, I think that might change in a jiffy.

I am really paranoid about my computer and all, i dont visit iffy sights, etc. The first thing i do when I get in from work is check my email. Well, there are two new icons on the desktop....poker icons. I open task manager and what do I find? two suspicious files, and KAZAA!!!! I open up IE and have three new toolbars. Now a full security scan is underway, Lord knows what I'm infected with, and I'm pissed. I've gotten over them eating my food, I've gotten over her leaving her bra and panties on my bathroom sink, but to fuck up my computer?? OH HELL NAH!!!!!

Update: the findings....

MySearch
Altnet
Toolbar.404search
Need2find
VX2
AllnetBDE
some overdrive file or something for MTV

i'm about to break.....

this is one nasty slob b*tch my brother goes out with. this isnt some f*cking fleabag motel. Don't leave your f*cking dirty bra and panties in my f*cking bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!! You nasty b*tch!!!! When i leave for work tonite, you will not be in my house. So sorry!! >:-|

Why I dont like family staying over...

I have a family member that is staying over (supposedly a few days) cause they moved away from the landlord from hell. they stayed in a hotel a few days and now is at my house. I love my family and all, but I hate how they have no regard for you place and everything in it:

so they sort of show up yesterday and hang out. his girlfriend is also with him. I have nothing against her,sweet girl and all, but this is a time where she should be with her family IMO. Not to mention, a woman coming in another woman's house and using her toiletries isnt a good thing, you should have your own soap, shampoo, etc. So I goto work lastnite and all, they were cooking, he likes to cook and she was about to mop the floor and asked me if i had bleach. So I wasnt feeling too well this morning and left work an hour early. First problem I have is the A/C is on full blast. I just made the revelation that the A/C is the prime factor for my electric bill being extremely high. I turned it off before I left, it was cool in the house and was breezy outside. That instantly struck a nerve, i turned it off, hell they have my fan!! I goto the kitchen to make some choco milk...kitchen full of dishes they used the night before. A definite no-no in my house. I might not clean up but I don't leave dirty dishes. The sponge mop is left in the bucket of dirty bleach water. I goto ring it out and it falls apart in my hands. Thanx. So I spend about an hour cleaning up the kitchen and put on my grocery list that I need a new mop.

I'm sitting here now, wanting to watch television, but to my surprise they are still asleep on my couch and the floor in the front room. Ummm, didn't you have to work today? It's 1pm for fucks sake!

They know my money is terribly limited, I buy myself enough food to last a few days, I don't have anything now. He's using my cellphone like a landline, not cool (and this is after having it on the charger or in my purse, he just uses it, makes like 8 calls in a row). I love my family dearly, but it can make things real ugly when you do stuff like this. I'm already struggling, dont add to my problems.

And to think, I never really said yes they can come on over. I'll try to the end of the week, but after that they must move on.

I"m now officially in heaven

I am currently downloading a large file, speeds are better than usual, but of course I can only download as fast as the server will send it to me, but here's my speedtest with the d/l going:

running 10s outbound test (client to server) . . . . . 1.10Mb/s
running 10s inbound test (server to client) . . . . . . 13.79Mb/s
The slowest link in the end-to-end path is a 10 Mbps Ethernet subnet

While not downloading it's even better

running 10s outbound test (client to server) . . . . . 1.20Mb/s
running 10s inbound test (server to client) . . . . . . 15.13Mb/s
The slowest link in the end-to-end path is a 10 Mbps Ethernet subnet

I have to work tonite and should be asleep, but how can I think about sleep right now? lol

He's here!!!!

THE FIBER GUY IS HERE!! THE FIBER GUY IS HERE!! THE FIBER GUY IS HERE!!

babbling....

So the gas prices are doing alot of ugly things these days. I personally thing there's a nationwide price gouge from the opportunists trying to make some money. Even read a local report that some stores are claiming to be out of regular gas (or even mid) and only selling premium, and actually have regular to sell, something about waiting for it to reach $3.50. I've usually noticed that gas stations in a part of town basically had the same price, with a variance of no more than, say, a dime. Now, stores across the streets from each other seem to vary more like a quarter or so (one store even has a 60 cent difference from a neighboring store!!).

lastnite i noticed alot of people buying gas containers. One customer was telling me how people are fighting at some places. One thing I expected to happen was alot of rampant gas drive offs. some stores are at least getting smart and doing "prepay only" all the time. I also noticed customers buying locking gas caps, because people are now stealing the gas right out of your car. this shit is getting crazy

I just got raped....

....but i'm fine. Went to the gas station and the sign said $2.77, said that lastnite when i went to work. Got off this morning running on fumes, and the guy "didnt have time to change the sign"....the pump said $2.88 when I was pumping. I'm hurting. I only had $5 on me and left my checkcard at home, so now I have a little over a gallon to replace the fumes :-( guess it's time to check the buspass rates as a backup plan